“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
― Lao Tzu
I woke up this morning with a cold. After trying every remedy in the book, or known to man I decided that I was going to come home and literally fall face first into my bed. I mean I literally, woke up and set a pair of pajamas on my nightstand before heading out to work. I had no intention of writing today, or even thinking of anything creative—Until, I had received a text message from my youngest sister that read ” I love your blog– I check everyday for new posts, it makes the world seem more relate able.” So, as I sat in my bed deciding that I was not going to write, I was going to put off my post until tomorrow–her words hit my soul pretty hard. I almost teared up, and honestly have no idea why. Could it be that I thought that no one would ever read my blog? Or that I could produce something that spoke to others? I have always thought of my self as a non creative person. If you would have asked me what I was good at for the past 27 years, I would have went on a tangent on how my sister Brittany is intelligent. Since birth she was always so dedicated and focused and would cry to mom if she ever got a “B’ on a test, or I may say that my sister Chelsea is so artistic, she can create art with her hands and make people feel the effects with their hearts.–but I could never say anything like that about myself, because despite being the oldest, I had always previously felt that I was pretty ordinary–and in that statement lies my bad habit. I tend to see the good in others, and have a difficult time seeing the good in myself.
When I started taking this mindful journey I had only anticipated on maybe losing a few pounds, or mastering a headstand. I never thought that I would have had to deal with my own demons. I never thought I would have to actually think about things that I wanted to do, or contemplate things that I was good at. People told me I was good at sales, and that is what I stuck with and did for the past 7 years. I never challenged the status quo, or myself for that matter. This “journey” as I would call it has taught me more than any paycheck is worth–it has taught me that I may not have everything figured out at this point, but as long as I am breathing I have time to work on those things. I may not be the smartest, or the most creative–hell I can barley draw a stick figure–but what I contribute to the world matters. Even if it never makes me rich, or I never make it into a history book— I want all the other people out there, the “wanderers” as I would like to call us, to keep wandering–because from what I have learned–not all those who wander are lost.