“When people go to work, they shouldn’t leave their hearts at home.”
I started my day at 4:30am. I haven’t been able to sleep very well as my pregnancy progresses, so I tend to start my day at unfathomable hours. As I sat in my bed I could not helping thinking about how truly blessed I am. I don’t want to sound cliche, but I have truly come so for from where I was even three months ago. When I came here with no job prospects, or any friends locally, I had a lot of time to spend learning about myself. I decided that I was going to make the conscious choice to start doing more things that I liked versus doing things that I thought other people liked me to do. Now let me explain, for a large portion of my life I followed “the rules,” and worked hard at trying to be what I thought would make other people happy. I spent 7 years running track in middle school and high school because that made my Dad happy, I went to college and became a business major because I thought that being in corporate America and having a rock solid job would make my Mother happy, and even I took a job that I was not to thrilled about because I though that’s what would make my husband happy. I was morphing into someone who hated waking up on Sundays, and would be physically sick by Monday, and would just pray to make it to Fridays. Having to put on the facade that I had everything together was getting hard, and I knew that now that I was going to become a Mom myself that I would be telling my own child to take sometime out to think about what he truly loved to then to just do it- I knew deep down in my heart that I needed to be a better example to my future son, and I needed to learn how to do it sooner rather than later.
So, what would be the next logical step? At the time for me it was getting a job and working 50+ hours a week, and then freelancing my marketing skills on the side. I joined two Bible study groups in order to invite some conversation in my life and hopefully to make friends, and I also took on two completing to health online certifications as well. I have never been busier than I have been now, but I am happier than I had ever been. I wouldn’t trade my new hodge podge life for all of the money or high power executive jobs in the world. My parents always ask me when I am going to take a rest- and my answer to them is that when you find something that you are passionate about you wake up thinking about it, and you can’t help but be excited about seeing where the day will take you. I am nearing 28 weeks pregnant and am showing no signs of slowing down (well maybe slowing down walking up and down the stairs) I have a fire in me that has not been lit in so long, and I have to keep pushing.
No more are the days of dreading Mondays, crying in the car, or coming home and falling asleep at 6:00pm. There’s a new woman in “town” and I think I like her more and more each day.